Surrender
by Phoenix2312
Summary: Emily turns her back on Ali, and then she pushes Paige away. One night they find each other, and confessions are exchanged. Paige may be the only person who can help Alison come to terms with who she is… What will happen when an old rivalry turns into something more? Paige/Alison (Paigison? Palison?) OOC, non-cannon pairing, one-shot


**So this little story came to me and I just had to write it. I'm aware that some people aren't going to like this very non-cannon pairing (Paily and Emison shippers don't burn me alive) but I'm feeling a lot of angst towards Emily's character, and in my other story "The Precipice" I've written about Paige and Alison becoming friends in order to help Hanna, that's what lead me to writing this story about them. So please don't be too harsh, enjoy.**

* * *

**Surrender  
Part I- Confessions**

Sitting alone by the lake you can't help but remember the blow up with Emily earlier. You'd known the girl was upset and angry and hurting, known that Mona's death had pushed her over the edge. You also know how distressed and heartbroken she is over Alison.

About a week ago you'd held the girl for countless hours as she cried over the blonde. The entire time she'd been babbling about Alison possibly being 'A'.

And usually you would've been thrilled to hear that Emily was on the outs with the girl, but something low in your gut, and deep in your heart tells you that Alison isn't 'A', somehow you just knew it's the truth, even if you aren't fond of the girl.

Coming back to your original thought you think about the way Emily screamed in your face, telling you to back off and to stay away from her. You'd only been trying to help, trying to make things better.

But you know that won't ever happen. Emily is too stubborn and hard-headed, she never listens to logic or reason, once she has an idea about something, that's it, game over. So you'd let her walk away, even though it stung like hell.

Sighing you stare out over the water for what feels like hours when a noise disrupts your thoughts.

Hearing footsteps you quickly turn around, expecting the worst.

But instead of a figure clad in a black hoodie you stare up into crystal blue eyes.

"Oh, I'm sorry Paige I didn't know anyone would be out here… I'll just, umm, I'll just go."

You can tell by the look in the girl's eyes that she doesn't really want to leave, that she wants to stay and sit by the lake, probably for the same reason that you're here.

Alison's eyes instantly fall to the ground and the pain and uncertainty in her expression is puzzling.

Your pride lumps up in your throat and it takes everything you have to swallow it down.

"No, it's okay. You don't have to leave, there's plenty of room for both of us."

She looks up at you through long lashes, and it's mesmerizing. Because of your constant rivalry with her you'd never taken time to really see her. But now with her standing only a little ways away the moonlight shining down on her, you understand why people are fascinated and awed by her.

A little hesitantly she moves closer and takes a seat by the lake, several feet from you.

Pulling her legs to her chest she wraps her arms around her knees, resting her chin on them.

You watch her, still fascinated.

She doesn't speak, and neither do you, it's an empty silence, but it's peaceful. Your mind wanders back to Emily and 'A' and suddenly there's something you have to know, have to ask.

"Alison?"

She doesn't turn her head towards you but you can see acknowledgment in the way she tilts her head, silently telling you to proceed.

"I just… I have to know something… Do you love her?"

This time she looks at you. Her eyes are glassy and her expression sombre.

"Yes… well I think I do. I'm actually not even sure I know what real love is, I mean, other than Emily, no one else has ever loved me, not even my parents, but still, it feels like I love her."

That phrase seems to shift your entire world. You can tell by her tone and her posture that's it's the absolute truth and it shocks you because she'd not exactly known for being open or honest. Before you can say more she pipes up again.

"But it doesn't matter. She thinks I'm 'A', thinks I betrayed her. She turned her back on me; she doesn't want me… even though I only did what I did to keep her safe. You're better for her anyways; you can give her everything that I can't."

You gape at her, and your expression must be amusing because she chuckles a little before the sombre expression returns.

This time it's you that speaks up.

"She doesn't want me either you know? I guess she's making a habit of turning her back on the people who care about her."

Alison just nods sadly, and for once you feel sorry for her. It's your fault the police found out about her, your fault she was forced out of hiding, and now here you both sit; miserable and hurting over the girl who walked out on both of you.

It's a weird feeling, one that you can't even begin to explain.

But for once you think that maybe you understand her just little bit more, because maybe you have more in common than you'd realized. Maybe it's not just the fact that you both love Emily, but the fact that you're both broken, both products of growing up in a home without love, both willing to do whatever it takes to protect the people you love, even if you end up hurting yourself in the process.

Silence fills the air again as the time ticks by, your mind racing with these new realizations.

It's a while before she speaks up.

"Can I ask you something now?"

You almost want to tell her no, you don't know if you can handle whatever she might say, but you decide that it's the least you can do.

Looking towards her you nod.

"How did you know, that you're gay I mean?"

Of all the questions she could've asked you're taken aback by the fact that she'd chosen to ask that.

But she'd answered you honestly, so it's only fair. The problem is you don't really have an answer, so instead you decide to give her the best explanation possible.

"I don't really know. I just, I never felt the same way about boys the way the other girls did. I'd flirt and go on dates and kiss them, but every time something just felt off… And I'd always appreciated other girls, but I just figured it was normal, that I was just comparing myself to them… Emily always caught my eye though, but she's such an amazing person and athlete I just thought I was jealous or something… But eventually I started to realize it was more than that, and not just with Emily, but with other girls too… I think that's when I knew deep down, although it took me another year before I could say it out loud."

When you glance over you can tell she's hanging on your every word, and it surprises you even more. You've always thought that she was toying with Emily, that she was just jealous, but now you can see it's much more.

When she looks into your eyes you can see the truth, she's confused and hurting, she probably doesn't even know who she is. Less than a year ago, you were her. Despite everything telling you not to you move closer to her, closing the distance between you until you're sitting side by side.

And it feels almost natural, sitting here by the lake with her, like your old friends instead of enemies.

"I think, I think I might be like you, I might be gay… but I just don't know… how am I supposed to figure it out?"

You aren't sure if she's looking for an answer or not, but you decide to try anyways.

"It's okay to not know, but if you do know, and are scared, don't be. It's okay to be who you are Alison, and if anyone tells you otherwise they're ignorant."

She looks over at you, and you're momentarily speechless because you've never been this close to her and damn, she's beautiful.

"I'm just worried what will happen if I say it and I'm not 100% sure. I mean Emily's the only girl I've ever felt anything towards, well actually she's the only person I've ever felt anything towards…"

You take a moment to digest this, and it should leave a bitter taste in your mouth, listening to her talk about the girl you're still in love with, but it doesn't. Instead you find yourself wanting to help her, because you know what it's like to be so unsure.

"Emily's the only girl you've ever had feelings for, but is she the only girl you've ever been attracted to?"

You can see the thoughtful look in her eyes and for the briefest moment of time you wonder if she's thinking up a lie. But then she looks at the ground and smiles a little shyly.

"You have seen the other girls' right? It's pretty much impossible to not be attracted to them…"

You smile a little because you've definitely noticed the fact that all of Emily's friends are ridiculously beautiful.

"You make a good point but they don't count because they're your friends. Have you ever been attracted to girls other than them, a stranger or a classmate or…"

The words aren't even out of your mouth when she nods.

"What about boys? Are you attracted to them?"

"Sometimes, but it almost feels, different. Like if I see a couple I'd notice if the boy was cute, maybe appreciate his body or think his smile is nice, but in the end I'd mostly be looking at her…"

The words resonate deep in your chest, and you almost ache for her, because you can already see who she is, what she is, but you don't think she can see it yet.

"And when you've been with guys in the past, what was it like?"

When you ask her this she looks at you with a curious expression, like you're a puzzle she just can't quite figure out. Seemingly she gives up and decides to answer you again.

"I never really felt anything. I just liked the way everyone looked at me and talked about me, being with a cute guy, especially a cute older guy, was more of a status thing than a romance thing…"

The tone in her voice has changed, and she suddenly sounds so small and afraid.

You put your hand on her shoulder.

"I think you already know who you are Alison, and it's okay to say it."

She looks at you from under long black lashes, and the vulnerability there startles you.

"I just, I need to be sure before I can…"

Her sentence trails off and you stare unblinkingly at each other for a minute. Just as you're about to say something else you feel soft lips against your own.

Instinctively your eyes slam shut and your heart speeds up with the sudden shock of the moment.

But just as quickly as it happened it's over.

She pulls back and you open your eyes to see the terrified expression on her face.

"Paige I'm sorry, I didn't mean too, I just got caught up in the moment and, oh god I'm so stupid, I'll just go…"

Before she can say anything else you reach forward and grab onto her jacket and tug her close, crashing your lips together again.

This time she's the one who's startled. She lets out a tiny gasp and it gives you the perfect opportunity to push into her mouth. Your tongue finds hers and they move together in a frantic rhythm. Instantly you tangle a hand in her long blonde hair, tugging her closer as her hands find your neck.

Even in the clouded haze of your mind you can't believe you're kissing Alison DiLaurentis, your sworn enemy, except she isn't your enemy anymore. If one thing is clear it's that you both have misjudged the other, both done things you regret, are both hurting for the girl that broke both of your hearts.

When she nips at your bottom lip you shake off your thoughts and focus on kissing her again. She tastes like cinnamon gum and you can smell her lavender shampoo, it's intoxicating.

All thoughts gone from your mind you feel heat building inside of you, and suddenly you need more of her. Moving your lips you kiss down her jaw and along her neck, nibbling her soft skin. The whimper she lets out is probably the most amazing sound you've ever heard. Her hands move down to your back and you can feel her nails digging into your flesh even through your shirt, but you don't care.

Carefully you press forward, lowering her to the ground, never moving your lips from her skin. She lets out another little moan of pleasure but this time it's your name and it snaps you back to reality.

Pulling back just enough to see her you watch her open her eyes and stare up at you. You almost jump off of her and start apologizing because what the hell just happened?

But when you hear her speak you can't move.

"I'm gay."

She says the words with so much certainty that it surprises you, because only moments ago she'd been so unsure, you can't look at her anymore because now it's you who's unsure.

You've spent the better part of your teen years hating her, but looking into her eyes you feel something that burns much brighter than hate and it scares you.

Soon you feel a hand caress your face.

"Paige, look at me."

Reluctantly you look down into blue eyes and see your own passion and longing reflected there.

She caresses your cheek again, and you can feel your heart speed up again.

"I'm sorry for everything I ever did to hurt you. I was so scared and confused and I took it out on you when you got in the crosshairs, you never deserved any of it. I'm so sorry."

A tear falls from her eyes and you know without a doubt that she's being honest. Without thinking you lean in and gently kiss her lips again. When you pull back you don't know what's wrong with you.

But she just smiles up at you.

"Can you ever forgive me?"

You nod. Knowing that after tonight any lingering resentment or anger towards her is gone, because tonight has changed everything.

"Did you mean what you said earlier? Are you sure you're gay?"

"I'm positive."

Still hovering over her you smile.

"So I was just your experiment?"

You mean it as a joke but the words almost stick in your throat because you don't really want it to be an experiment, you want it to mean something.

And the second you think it your emotions go haywire. The voice in your head is screaming at you that you're still in love with Emily, that Alison is in love with her too, that you hate this girl. But then the voice in your heart whispers, and you decide to listen to it for once. Because fuck it. Emily walked out on you, walked out on both of you and you may be the only person Alison's ever been honest with like this, maybe the only person in the entire world who knows this part of her.

So who cares about the past, all that matters now is the present.

When you snap out of your reverie she's looking at you with so much emotion it hurts.

"I don't know where to go from here Paige, things are so messed up between us, and I've never done anything but hurt you… And then there's Emily… but despite it all I just, I _feel_ something for you…"

"I don't know either Ali, but somehow we'll figure it out okay?"

"Okay."

* * *

**This is meant to be a one-shot, however if enough people are interested I may do a companion chapter (or 2) of either Alison's POV of the night, Emily finding out about the kiss or their first date... Anyways, thanks for reading.**


End file.
